BS That: Libraries, Customer Service, Disney and the Friend Zone

I'm at the end of another class and was getting ready to write my last paper when suddenly it hit me: I could still get an A if I don't write this.

I was leaning towards not writing it, but then realized I could still get around an 80%on the paper itself if I took the rubric literally: 5 points for 1000 words, 5 points for 5 keywords in the title, 5 points for 5 keywords in the first 100 words, 5 points for two outside sources, and finally, only 5 points for if the article written "follows the standards set by the 'Writing Assignment Rubric'".

Two hours later I find myself with a serious piece of BS. But I had SO much fun writing it! I submitted it and explained to my instructor what happened, and I think we'll get a good laugh out of it. Fortunately for me, not only does she not create the rubrics for her class, but she is as frustrated with the rubrics as I am.

I don't know, maybe I missed out on a great learning moment....but most likely not. I did learn, that I do in fact enjoy writing. Just a different kind of writing than I'm normally expected to do.

So here she is, in all her irreverent glory:

Titled: How the Quality of Customer Service Given at the Public Library Can Impact the Mental Health of the Individuals and Families in the Surrounding Community and my ramblings on Disney and the Friend Zone.

I spent 7 years working in an academic library at Brigham Young University, but my last two years of work at the Orem Public Library In Utah County has completely changed my view on the importance Libraries play in the overall mental health—and connectivity—of their communities. The general public today seems to be of the opinion that libraries are becoming irrelevant—or have already achieved that irrelevance. What they don’t understand is the exact role a library can—and usually does—play in its community. It is the educational hub of its community and provides opportunities for those of lower socioeconomic standing pursue further education through the various resources provided to them via their local library. Whether it is English as a second language class, educational forums, fine arts events, accessing free Lynda courses online via the library computer lab, coding classes, or a variety of other educational opportunities including the physical and digital learning resources provided through a card membership or available through in-library use. Often patrons who com in looking a little worse for wear (and sometimes smell) and their rugged appearance can make it easy to treat them with less than the respect and kindness guaranteed to all patrons who use the library—and it’s resources—in a respectful manner. So the way a patron is treated by the staff of the library can greatly determine whether or not they will return again to use its resources. This is why it is SO important to me that all staff at libraries are trained to give the BEST customer care to help increase the likelihood of the return of these patrons, subsequently increasing their chances for self-improvement and progression in life.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, it’s time to talk about Disney’s unethical fostering of the myth that the friend zone is a ‘good’ place to be. Let me tell you friends, Friend zoned to be you do not (shout out to my good friend Yoda right there). Let’s start with my favorite video that fosters unrealistic expectations of my heart to thrive in the friend zone and ultimately led to my spontaneous decision to by a ukulele along with the rest of Provo: The Lava Love song.

It’s about this fat little volcano that hangs out with all of his friends watching them all pair off and he’s totally fine with it. Until…. And the whole time he’s singing his song of love and hope there’s this chick volcano hanging out in the friend zone down below—completely off his radar—trying to catch this guy’s attention. And of course he’s fine with it until all his friends move on and he’s “on the brink of extinction” that Volcano chick finally appears on his radar.

Now the subliminal message being sent here is that if you wait long enough, that friend can become a part of the same island if you catch my drift. To make this EVEN better, you’ve got to understand the beautiful—or beautifully deceptive—symbolism of our dear volcano friends here. According to dear old reliable Wikipedia: “The lifespan of a volcano can vary from months to several million years”, and not only that, but “There is no consensus among volcanologists on how to define an "active" volcano”. Whoa. Wait a second. So what you’re telling me is that there is no way to determine, how long I’d be in the friend zone before that relationship becomes extinct allowing for my true love to be realized?

Now before we go to the main point, understand the metaphor can be thrown the other way: the volcano chick dreams about her prince charming and even though she can hear her best guy friend singing her love songs all the day long, she ain’t coming up until after he’s no longer recognizably her friend. And when she does come up to play it’s not until after he Ghosts her, and gets a huge makeover from his stony, burnt out self that she lets him join her island. So what’s the point here? Using the friend zone as a way to get into a relationship with your dream girl or boy is risky business. It could take months, or several millions of year. So I’d suggest, make like an otter and find your one and cozy and mate for life where you can enjoy a lifetime floating down the river of life together.

Now, let’s talk about Frozen. That Disney animated movie that not only had kids losing their socks about it, but young adults everywhere learned guitar, ukulele, or piano just to sing it to their crush or YouTube following. It’s basically the perfect response to REO Speed wagon’s “Can’t Fight this Feeling Anymore” (“What started out this friendship has grown stronger, I only wish I had the strength to let it show”). LET IT GO!

Disney hides this subtle phenomenon by allowing media to focus on little girls and boys belting out frozen at the top of their lungs, but the real problem occurred elsewhere. Think about it, with “He’s just a bit of a fixer upper”, “Love is an Open Door”, and watching Kristoff run around doing all sorts of things for a girl he Obviously likes even to the point of having his ENTIRE family try and convince her to let him out of the friend zone: There’s a subliminal message being sent here. YOU’RE HAPPILY EVER AFTER LIES IN THE FRIEND ZONE.

 Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for dating and marrying your best friend. Unstatistically speaking, the majority of people do NOT end up marrying or even dating someone they friend zone. Disney’s is deliberately encouraging young people everywhere to embrace the unrequited love so often experienced by those in the friend zone in hopes for a reciprocal relationship. Just like the false expectations of hair Disney has given for years, they don’t show you the true story. Hate to break it to you guys, but Disney is an entertainment company. And boy do they get serious entertainment out of watching us run around in the friend zone.

Just take all my money Disney.

Take it.

Agency and the Presence of God

Public Speaking and I are not always friends. 

Recently I tried to explain what a (somewhat complex) quote meant to me in front of a larger amount of people and I’m not sure I explained myself very well. Because I'm secretly terrified of speaking in front of a lot of people. My concern is that people misunderstood my message, thinking I was saying: “God’s presence is not always available to you”, when what I was truly trying to say was “God will never force you to abide in His presence, He always lets you choose.”

Anyone that teaches in any capacity, as a parent, teacher, or even supervisor or manager at work, understands that in order for someone to truly learn what they are being taught, there is a process that includes letting them act for themselves. A Doctor will not always have his professors or mentors, or those he shadows with them every step of the way. At various points in his educational journey she has to take the knowledge she has gained and make decisions alone. Sadly, sometimes mistakes occur, but if they have truly learned for themselves they will have BECOME a doctor and the mistakes will be fewer than if they had not learned for themselves.

You have probably picked up on my point by now, but ultimately: God will teach us, then let us apply His teachings on our own. He will not give us every answer we are seeking every time because I believe he wants us to LEARN to BECOME like Him. The reward for following God’s teachings and commandments do NOT include a perfect life with no trials or sorrows. Sometimes we mistakenly believe that because we are not receiving the blessings we desire when we desire them God must not exist, or God must be punishing me, or a slew of other thoughts. Honestly—I don’t know why we don’t always get the blessings we want when we want them especially when we’re doing everything asked of us and rightly deserve them. But I do know, that it’s in these moments that we have our greatest opportunity for growth.

I also know that when it SEEMS as though God is not present, it’s possible that he (like a loving parent with their young child) is a step ahead of us encouraging us to take just two more steps into His arms. He is teaching us to walk. We were never meant to crawl, but to walk and run, to work and play, for He has said that “men are that they might have joy.” I believe that it is possible to have joy even though we are, well, having a hard time. 

I believe that God is always there for us, his hand always reaching out ready to take our own. At times he will come to our aid, but—since he is the ultimate teacher—he knows that he has to let US reach back and take his hand.

As C.S. Lewis wrote: 

"He (God) cannot ‘tempt’ to virtue as we (Satan’s demons) do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived Wormwood (Satan's demon in Training). Our cause (Satan’s cause) is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s (God's) will, looks around upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”

To anyone who reads this and still has questions, so do I. I don’t completely understand everything, and my expression of my thoughts is still not perfect. But I have chosen my path, and must let those around me do the same. We can always help those around us, and can discuss and share thoughts, opinions, and ideas, but in the end only the individual can choose which path they will take. 

Earlier I watched the following video, by a man I have a lot of respect for, that explains Agency (our will to choose for ourselves) a little more, and how important it is in our spiritual growth. It helped me to understand why, that although I have little desire to, I have to take steps into the unknown.

Sometimes You Have to Fall Before You Know Why You Need to Get Back Up

Summer 2014:
The doorbell rang and I quickly pulled my greasy hair into a ponytail before answering the door. I tried to smile and made awkward jokes while quickly signing the receipt for the pizza delivery guy—or was it a girl? I couldn’t tell—before shutting the door and collapsing back on the couch.

Thin crust Parmesan white sauce pizza, with chicken, olives, BACON, and spinach (just to make me feel healthy), and a side of chocolate lava crunch cakes. I ate all of it while watching the entire first season of Gilmore girls and blowing emotional snot into an entire box worth of tissues.

I didn't sleep at all that night.


Two weeks earlier:
"I killed it! Love you too babe!" I responded as I ended the call and put my phone back into my purse.

This was it. I had just owned an interview as one of the final three applicants for my dream job at the BYU Library, and was on my way to meet up with my super smart and sexy boyfriend—soon to be fiancé if what we talked about last night meant anything.

I was on fire, and everything was going exactly as planned.

Yet there's this funny saying that my Mom likes to tell me every once in awhile: Every time we make plans, God laughs and throws our life into mayhem. She also refers to it as being put in the refiner's fire. Haha Mom, haha.

In the next two weeks not only did I get rejected by my dream job, I also got rejected by two other jobs that were my plans B and C, dumped by my suddenly not-so-smart-or-sexy boyfriend, and was ready to give up on ever being the incredibly successful woman I had always dreamed of being.

Now let's take it back to a week AFTER my pizza eating, Gilmore Girls binge-watching, snot monster night of despair.

Arizona: One Week After The Snot Fest:
Yet again I was a snotty salty mess, only this time I was at a funeral. Instead of being alone on a couch, I was surrounded by family and loved ones with a different kind of heartache than a week earlier. This was a kind of pain that no amount of pizza or Gilmore Girls could ever stop. I was so confused, and I had so many questions. That said, the pain I was experiencing could be nowhere near to the pain and heartache my cousin's parents and siblings felt. I had no clue how to help, or how to feel. This was something I had never experienced before.

Eventually time passed and the pain eased, but the experiences of that summer forever changed me. Our time in mortality is more limited than we realize. I no loner wanted to just 'survive' anymore: Living from day to day by the seat of my pants with no goals or direction—just hoping something would work out. I wanted to start acting, and stop being acted upon. I wanted to live my life with purpose. To stop focusing on all the reasons why I "can't", and to start focusing on all the reasons why I "can". I started carving a new path for my life.

After a brief term of "not-speaking" to my Heavenly Father during that summer, I sought Him out as never before. I had always believed in His plan, and that one day I would be able to see those who passed on in the next life, but that passive belief wasn’t enough anymore. I needed to KNOW. I wanted to increase understanding of my purpose in this life, and to improve my relationship with Him and His son who atoned for all God's children. I needed to know He was truly there.

And He was.

That summer was only the beginning of a life-long journey I embarked on to stop simply 'surviving', and to start 'thriving'. To stop simply 'doing', and to start BECOMING all that I have wanted and am meant to be.

But you'll have to wait for that story next time.