BS That: Libraries, Customer Service, Disney and the Friend Zone

I'm at the end of another class and was getting ready to write my last paper when suddenly it hit me: I could still get an A if I don't write this.

I was leaning towards not writing it, but then realized I could still get around an 80%on the paper itself if I took the rubric literally: 5 points for 1000 words, 5 points for 5 keywords in the title, 5 points for 5 keywords in the first 100 words, 5 points for two outside sources, and finally, only 5 points for if the article written "follows the standards set by the 'Writing Assignment Rubric'".

Two hours later I find myself with a serious piece of BS. But I had SO much fun writing it! I submitted it and explained to my instructor what happened, and I think we'll get a good laugh out of it. Fortunately for me, not only does she not create the rubrics for her class, but she is as frustrated with the rubrics as I am.

I don't know, maybe I missed out on a great learning moment....but most likely not. I did learn, that I do in fact enjoy writing. Just a different kind of writing than I'm normally expected to do.

So here she is, in all her irreverent glory:

Titled: How the Quality of Customer Service Given at the Public Library Can Impact the Mental Health of the Individuals and Families in the Surrounding Community and my ramblings on Disney and the Friend Zone.

I spent 7 years working in an academic library at Brigham Young University, but my last two years of work at the Orem Public Library In Utah County has completely changed my view on the importance Libraries play in the overall mental health—and connectivity—of their communities. The general public today seems to be of the opinion that libraries are becoming irrelevant—or have already achieved that irrelevance. What they don’t understand is the exact role a library can—and usually does—play in its community. It is the educational hub of its community and provides opportunities for those of lower socioeconomic standing pursue further education through the various resources provided to them via their local library. Whether it is English as a second language class, educational forums, fine arts events, accessing free Lynda courses online via the library computer lab, coding classes, or a variety of other educational opportunities including the physical and digital learning resources provided through a card membership or available through in-library use. Often patrons who com in looking a little worse for wear (and sometimes smell) and their rugged appearance can make it easy to treat them with less than the respect and kindness guaranteed to all patrons who use the library—and it’s resources—in a respectful manner. So the way a patron is treated by the staff of the library can greatly determine whether or not they will return again to use its resources. This is why it is SO important to me that all staff at libraries are trained to give the BEST customer care to help increase the likelihood of the return of these patrons, subsequently increasing their chances for self-improvement and progression in life.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, it’s time to talk about Disney’s unethical fostering of the myth that the friend zone is a ‘good’ place to be. Let me tell you friends, Friend zoned to be you do not (shout out to my good friend Yoda right there). Let’s start with my favorite video that fosters unrealistic expectations of my heart to thrive in the friend zone and ultimately led to my spontaneous decision to by a ukulele along with the rest of Provo: The Lava Love song.

It’s about this fat little volcano that hangs out with all of his friends watching them all pair off and he’s totally fine with it. Until…. And the whole time he’s singing his song of love and hope there’s this chick volcano hanging out in the friend zone down below—completely off his radar—trying to catch this guy’s attention. And of course he’s fine with it until all his friends move on and he’s “on the brink of extinction” that Volcano chick finally appears on his radar.

Now the subliminal message being sent here is that if you wait long enough, that friend can become a part of the same island if you catch my drift. To make this EVEN better, you’ve got to understand the beautiful—or beautifully deceptive—symbolism of our dear volcano friends here. According to dear old reliable Wikipedia: “The lifespan of a volcano can vary from months to several million years”, and not only that, but “There is no consensus among volcanologists on how to define an "active" volcano”. Whoa. Wait a second. So what you’re telling me is that there is no way to determine, how long I’d be in the friend zone before that relationship becomes extinct allowing for my true love to be realized?

Now before we go to the main point, understand the metaphor can be thrown the other way: the volcano chick dreams about her prince charming and even though she can hear her best guy friend singing her love songs all the day long, she ain’t coming up until after he’s no longer recognizably her friend. And when she does come up to play it’s not until after he Ghosts her, and gets a huge makeover from his stony, burnt out self that she lets him join her island. So what’s the point here? Using the friend zone as a way to get into a relationship with your dream girl or boy is risky business. It could take months, or several millions of year. So I’d suggest, make like an otter and find your one and cozy and mate for life where you can enjoy a lifetime floating down the river of life together.

Now, let’s talk about Frozen. That Disney animated movie that not only had kids losing their socks about it, but young adults everywhere learned guitar, ukulele, or piano just to sing it to their crush or YouTube following. It’s basically the perfect response to REO Speed wagon’s “Can’t Fight this Feeling Anymore” (“What started out this friendship has grown stronger, I only wish I had the strength to let it show”). LET IT GO!

Disney hides this subtle phenomenon by allowing media to focus on little girls and boys belting out frozen at the top of their lungs, but the real problem occurred elsewhere. Think about it, with “He’s just a bit of a fixer upper”, “Love is an Open Door”, and watching Kristoff run around doing all sorts of things for a girl he Obviously likes even to the point of having his ENTIRE family try and convince her to let him out of the friend zone: There’s a subliminal message being sent here. YOU’RE HAPPILY EVER AFTER LIES IN THE FRIEND ZONE.

 Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for dating and marrying your best friend. Unstatistically speaking, the majority of people do NOT end up marrying or even dating someone they friend zone. Disney’s is deliberately encouraging young people everywhere to embrace the unrequited love so often experienced by those in the friend zone in hopes for a reciprocal relationship. Just like the false expectations of hair Disney has given for years, they don’t show you the true story. Hate to break it to you guys, but Disney is an entertainment company. And boy do they get serious entertainment out of watching us run around in the friend zone.

Just take all my money Disney.

Take it.